Big Fight

Well, it finally happened. Taffy and I got into a big fight. I guess I had it coming, she's been getting short with me for over a week now. There are just problems there that she won't talk to me about. She thinks I kicked the dog (which I didn't, I used my leg in front of his chest to block and then hold him back from the pizza) and I yelled at him before I went to bed (I finally just snapped, he was barking so loudly and right up into that really high almost-inaudible range that really grates). There's gotta be more though. She came upstairs yelling and then I yelled back about 40 hours of work and still coming home to take care of people (which actually isn't her, but another roomie I have a problem with).

I do feel unappreciated sometimes. I DO take care of that dog, ya know? And I don't complain, b/c I love him. I moved in with Taffy with the full knowledge that I was going to be responsible for him when she's gone. And I am, those times when she's gone in the morning/afternoon and he needs to go outside. Usually I've been at work and when I get back it's dinnertime or something and she gets home an hour or two later. It's not a problem, but sometimes I don't get a thank-you. It hurts.

What also hurts is being left out. I hate HATE HATE inviting myself to their outings. They are going to Summerfest to see All-American Rejects and I wouldn't have minded going except for the part where I wasn't invited and now don't have a ticket. It would've been a nice option to get to go to Heather's for the 4th of July. And I know all about Heidi's little party back home that I'm not supposed to go to. Hell, if I hadn't been sitting right in the same room the night the Brewer's game plan had been hatched I probably wouldn't have gotten to go to it either.

I feel like they don't know me. I know them, their heartaches, their troubles, their hopes. Do they know mine? I know I don't share often (or at least AS often) and I rarely break out into tears. Except for last night, as I realized they probably had a major bitchfest (complete with Ben and Jerry's) just about me downstairs as I cried myself to sleep.

Sometimes I think "I want to go home to Ireland." It keeps popping in my head. Last night as I was crying I got to thinking about this. And also about how much was left on my credit card should I actually just run away from my problems. I realized that I had very few problems in Ireland...it has now become my ideal world. I didn't work, wasn't near my crush (so much stuff there but that's all you get to know), and my friends never left me out. They didn't forget my birthday, they helped me through the homesickness, they now send me e-mails, online chats, and postcards. That really hurt, ya know...no news from home for SO long from pretty much everyone but Mom. Alissa and I don't talk much anymore because....well, I dunno why. Why is it so hard to pick up the telephone and call her? Probably because there's almost always someone else she's talking to. While I was in Ireland I commanded her attention through excitment - a call from IRELAND. Now I can't seem to get anything but the gist of her other conversation. Is that a fair rendering??

It's also probably another reason why my roommates don't know me well, they didn't try to while I was gone. After August I'll probably never see any of them again. I'm not sure how I feel about that either. They have re-entry programs for study abroad participants in the fall to help with classes and such, but that doesn't help with me. I've changed, I know it. I feel more confident about myself, but I'm also more vulnerable. I have a heart too.

I lost friends when I went to Ireland because it was difficult to communicate with and relate to them. But I also made friends. Now I'm home and not near those friends I made in Ireland and trying to relate with the friends I lost when I was gone. I'm stuck in the middle somewhere. Perhaps I need more new friends? Perhaps I need to strengthen the bonds between old ones? Perhaps I need to save money to visit my Ireland friends in their home countries? I just don't know what the answer is.

I think that's all I wanted to write about. I was going to write last night but with them going downstairs, I felt it better just to sleep. My knee's still messed up (hobbling isn't fun) but I'm still going to try to go to the Farmer's Market - I need the exercise, fresh air, and time to talk to Mom. She'll lift my spirits..she always does. That's why Josh Groban's (and NOT that terrible Irish boyband Westlife's version) "You Raise Me Up" is my most appropriate song for her.

Lots of love, Christi and Galway Bay

Beefed it

Ooops. Today was a nice day for an outdoor event. We had one at the Allen Centenial Gardens. The flagstone steps are obviously uneven and I went down on both knees with tin tray lids in my hands. I popped my right hip, scratched my left leg and tore a hole in those pants, and got a really good cut on my right one. I tried to stick it out but I just had to go home at 4:15PM. I would've finished my shift right now and come home to find the girls' crafting projects spread out on the kitchen table. Instead, I've been at home watching random tv stuff and generally not trying to move b/c every time I bend my knee I get a terrible pain and it starts to bleed again. God, I hope I'm better before tomorrow b/c I REALLY need to go back to work!

Sigh.......Matt said it was my turn to get hurt at work.....He totally jinxed me!

Well, I've got to find something to help me or I'm going to go crazy!!!

Lots of love, Christi and Galway Bay

Finished with Class, now on to the "to do" list

I finished my paper at 10AM yesterday morning and am therefore officially done with my first class (hooray!). Then I find out last night that the prof sent out an e-mail after I had gone to work extending the deadline b/c part of the UW powergrid had gone down the night before. Boo....oh well, mine's finished anyway.

Work's work. Last night we found out that the event we set up was an hour later than we thought so we left work (not much we could do about that) and I went back over to see if everything went alright. It was all cool. It is the 4-H group's nightly dance party. We could hear the DJ pretty clearly from our house, lol. They were playing some pretty questionable music for 7-8th graders! Oh well, not my place anyway. I have to figure out what's up with this event for tonight b/c I'm close to 40 hours and I don't want my lunches taken out (since I don't always get a break, even if I am working 8 hours....it's a catering thing I guess). Well, whatever the boss man says goes.

I signed up for some bartending classes and guitar lessons. The bartending classes are just to learn mixed drinks so I can work the bar better at work. The guitar lessons are so I can learn how to tune the darn thing. Stupid 4th string makes the whole thing minor! Think "Jaws" theme (do do do do....) b/c that's kinda what it sounds like.

I'm so excited!! This morning I slept in until 8:30AM, then I came online and am now talking to LuLu who is in Galway. Then I'll try and tune the guitar again and go read a non-academic completely brainless book until I have to go to work. Hooray!!!

Lots of love, Christi and Galway Bay (fishy water's getting low b/c all of the hot weather...he's a tropical fish so he's ok at least!)

What a day!

I've been home for a month and six days....I still miss Ireland and its people terribly! I keep meeting people who have been there or want to go there and it's really nice to be able to converse with them about it. It makes my trip seem more real and more and more special. I miss you, my European family (and I root for everyone's teams in the World Cup when they aren't playing the U.S.!)!!!!!!!!

Since I am home, I do get to watch baseball, go to the zoo, and of course one of my favoritest things to do in the world -- go to the Farmer's Market. Yesterday Mom came up and we walked the square, buying flowers, peas, strawberries, and our customary cream-filled bismarks. Then we grabbed Taffy and went out to Ward-Brodt to see if they could help Grandpa's hawaiian guitar.....it's too warped to even put on a string, not to mention fixing the back. How to I break it to Grandpa that his guitar is ruined??!! I know...I'll have Mom do it ;) I myself got my own guitar - 3/4 length so it's a perfect size for moving and dorm rooms. YAY!!!! Taffy says I'm not allowed to play in the house, but the porch is fine :D I'll have to get it tuned up and practice today (I couldn't yesterday b/c it was too humid, but it rained today so I've got a much better shot).

After the music store and pet store we went to Feast with the Beasts at the Henry Vilas Zoo. Matt and Carmen didn't make it in time for us to get the "family" discount, but oh well. More money for the zoo, which is an AWESOME place to go!! We had Glass Nickel Pizza, Jamba Juice smoothies, and ice cream sandwiches for lunch...mmmmmmmmmmm... Taffy was excited to see the stingrays, the baby one putting on the best show. They really are fascinating animals. Of course we got to see the penguins and rhinos and polar bears and those show-off seals. It was sooooo much fun!

We had to head out early to make it back to the house in order to pack for the game. Heather, Taffy, and I went to a Milwaukee Brewers game and the ending was AWESOME!!! We met Heather's dad and sister over at the Petit Ice Center (so they could park his totally awesome SAAB convertible) and headed over to the Brewer's parking lot for a tailgate dinner. We had brats, chips, taco dip, fresh fruit and veggies, potato salad, pasta salad, and of course Miller Lite - the stadium is called "Miller Park" (ok, I tried one, just one, and it is one of the nastiest things I've ever tasted, and even Sprite can only go so far to change the flavor...remind me not to drink anything with a bathroom so far away!!). A pretty fancy tailgate if you ask me and oh-so-yummy too!

The game was rather boring. I bought my "Cracker Jacks" and basically didn't pay much attention to the first bit of it. The crowd woke up a few innings in when a Brewer finally got a home run (making the score 1-2 Cleveland). If Cleveland had made any home runs in the 9th we would've missed the spectacular ending. Two of the Brewers walked (meaning there were 4 balls thrown that they couldn't have hit so they got to go to a base) and the next Brewer got a hit which got him a base too. Bases were loaded and Geoff Jenkins got to bat....oh man, it was amazing. The cheering for all four gave me goosebumps, that is what it's all about. He hit a line drive (the ball was hit to the right of him, just staying in bounds) and two Brewers made it home - they WON!!!!!! Taffy's first game wasn't a bust (thank goodness) and the entire crowd there just burst into happiness (many of them drunk and now extremely happy.....hmmmm) It was interesting trying to pick out the designated drivers in the crowd, many of whom I think were acting as drunk as their passengers. We got home in record time despite the traffic (a few who went to the game, we could tell). I got lots of sleep despite a couple of times waking up. Now I must start the day with paper-writing, work (making pizzas at Carsons), and Erin's birthday party. It'll be so much fun!

I keep doing European spellings, adding "E"s to the ends of words and changing "z"s to "s"s!!!! Oh I hope my profs don't notice!

Hugs to all!! Christi and Galway Bay