Worst Movies EVER

Hello,

Well, yesterday Mom, Matt, and Matt's new girlfriend Megan (with a favorable first impression) came to Milwaukee to meet with me and go bowling and to a movie....I shall not say "Cheesecake Factory" because "Cheesecake Factory" annoys me after that one incident of me trying to get cheesecake and just about giving up. Ooops, said "Cheesecake Factory" now three times! Ack, no more! Anyway, after we ate at the-place-that-shall-not-be-named at the Bayshore Mall complex, we went bowling there. It was SOOO cool, we bowled three lanes away from Buzz Williams, head coach of the Marquette men's basketball team! Several players were also there, along with a few girlfriends, assistant coaches, and (probably loaded $$$) alumni. I didn't take a picture despite my desire to do so, because that would've been rude. I did terribly at bowling, probably a combo of the dark lighting I wasn't used to, Buzz (who I am sure could've cared less, but I didn't want to look bad in front of other Marquette peoples), some bad music choices, and Matt laughing during really important moments. Oh well, Mom and I were spotted 100 points each game and ended up winning the second game against Matt and Megan.

So what's up with the title of today's ramblings, you ask? Well, I'm getting to it. Matt wanted to see a movie. We would've picked "State of Play", but it started at the wrong time. So we went to "Observe and Report" with Seth Rogan. Ok, we thought it might have at least one redeeming quality, like some of his other movies. Right? WRONG...no redeeming whatsoever. It just kept going. And we timed the times between the F*bomb...a whopping 4 minutes was the longest period. I believe the Mom landed one in the middle of a serious conversation, breaking our F*bomb-free streak. No plot, no nothing. Even the most likable character had one serious flaw - she actually LIKED the doofus Rogan character. Man, she has BAD TASTE. Thinking about it now, perhaps there was one redeeming point: the previews. I got two out of three right within 2 seconds of the start. That's right, I can identify the "Star Trek" preview with only two words out of Bruce Greenwood's mouth that are a part of his speech to a young (and hott) Kirk, which both chastises and encourages him to enter into to Star Fleet. Sad, I know.

So what are some other bad movies, in my opinion. Well, in no particular order, I thought I'd list some of them here:
*Observe and Report
*You Don't Mess with the Zohan (I gave up about 10 minutes in, refusing to give up any more of my life to such drivel)
*The Love Guru (sad I wasted so much of my life on that)

Biggest disappointments
*Prince and Me 2 (they REPLACED the main character, enough said)
*Bolt (could've been so much MORE)
*Tale of Despareaux (again, could've been more)

I hope the new "Star Trek" movie doesn't fall into either of these categories. Only time will tell.

Back to the main narrative: after our completely terrible movie, we went back to that-place-which-can't-be-named for a slice of cheesecake. Sadly, our day had to come to an end. But not MINE. I had to go into Per Mar, where Comedy Central filmed part of a movie with Louis CK, a comedian, at the Pabst Theater. That was pretty cool, but it also put us WAAAAAY behind. We started late because the front few rows weren't filled. So 30-45 mins after start-time we found the correct bums to fill the seats (which anyone else in our sold-out theater would've GLADLY taken ASAP to get the show on the road).

The comedian was similar to Rodney Carrington the night before - a dirty man. However, he wasn't as interested in the female anatomy as Rodney, instead he did more bodily-functions jokes. And of course, unlike Rodney, he did NOT have two 5-foot blow up ...um...male anatomy parts... on the stage or encourage female audience members to flash him. Thank you, Louis, for keeping it classy.

There was a second show after the first, so we had to push all of those people out and get the new ones in within 30 minutes. Getting them out was for the most part not a problem, unless they had to go to the bathroom. Then things got sticky. Also, some people had tickets for both shows and didn't want to move. Sorry, but they HAD to get some fresh air for a few minutes while we frantically tried to clean the theater. Tell some people (who had been contained in the bar area...yeah) that they can't enter the theater because they are cleaning...man, they get VERY ANGRY. Argh. By this point I hadn't sat and had barely repositioned my back (think Sun Salutation yoga pose) in over 3 hours. I was cranky. They decided to push themselves into the theater as soon as the cleaning crew got out. Luckily no one slipped on our mopped floor.

Our "50" people (as stated by the box office) on the second floor turned out to be more like 200+, so that we had to open up the first few rows on the 3rd level to accommodate them all. I think they turned on the AC system because it was HOT in there until a slight breeze started going. "Miss, miss...can I get a fan?" Ugh, you cute but drunk and annoying man, I DON'T CARRY FANS ON ME!!

One of the "upper bosses" (see below) allowed to sit in one of the empty chairs near me for a few minutes, still scanning the crowds for smoking and fights. It was so nice to get off of my feet and feel some of my leg muscles relax after standing for so long...almost 6 hours by this point. The second show of course started late, around 45 minutes after it's initial start time of 10:30PM. This show was also about 10 minutes longer, allowing for lots of clapping and a few extra joke tidbits. Since I had already heard it all and was tired, I didn't enjoy the second show like I had pieces of the first. Thankfully our patrons were just as ready to get out at the end of the night as we were...either to hit the last 1/2 hour of bartime or head home. We were out by 1:30AM, about a half an hour past where we wanted to be.

I probably shouldn't have driven myself home, as tired as I was. I took it easy, followed the stop lights, tried not to swerve. Thank god I attracted no police attention. I'm pretty sure by that point I wasn't able to speak coherently. Let's face it, my brain had fallen asleep a couple of hours prior, and my body was functioning on fumes. I'd been up and going for about 19 hours, no naps. At least my car parking job was pretty good, especially compared to the guy (NOT my neighbor's car) next to me, who had been there all day. At least I got it in STRAIGHT. I got far enough in the apartment to lock the main door and reach my bed before I passed out.

I've been up for about two hours now. My feet and legs no longer hurt, although I think I'm going to have to take it easy on the body today. Mostly reading for class. And balancing ye-old-checkbook. Ugh. I dream of a day when there's actually money left over at the end of the month. No plans for it, just that it would be there. Someday...someday.

Have a great day,
Christi and Lily <-currently sleeping on my couch

P.S. Oh yeah, you are now reading the blog of the newest Milwaukee County Historical Society Collections Department intern! I got the (unpaid) summer internship, which will give me a TON of experience for a future job, YAY!


PER MAR HIERARCHY
Per Mar Head Honchos in Head Office
Regional/State Head Honchos?? (not sure if they actually exist, but it would make sense)
Jim, Milwaukee/Racine Head Dude and AWESOME
Racine Office staff (like the "Upper Boss") LIKE THEM
Shift Supervisors (my usual bosses) DON'T GET PAID ENOUGH, VERY COOL
Peons (this would be me) EXTRAORDINARY